“You tell yourself it doesn’t matter that he hasn’t proposed yet, and deep down it really bothers you. You know he loves you, and yet he does nothing to move the relationship forward, in fact it has actually kind of stalled! Why does he drag his feet? Part of you wonders if he is really fully committed to you, and it causes you to feel insecure. This leads to tension and arguments in the relationship, which just pushes him away further – it’s a vicious cycle.”
You’ve tried being patient, you have tried being nice. You try to see things from his point of view and be ‘cool’ about where things are going, however inevitably sooner or later it gets to you and you end up complaining about the lack of commitment in your relationship, or worse you get really emotional and spew all your anger and upset over him, which just makes everything worse! Then you feel guilty and start beating yourself up – you think “no wonder he doesn’t want to marry me!’
If this does sound familiar my heart goes out to you because I have been where you are at, and it is the most frustrating and frankly painful place to be in!
My last relationship, before I met my husband, broke down because of the distance that had grown between me and my boyfriend at the time. He had started out at the beginning of our relationship saying that he wanted to marry me, then as the years went by he grew suspiciously quiet about it. When I asked him about it he clammed up and didn’t want to talk about it, which just made me feel worse.
I became an insecure wreck as my self esteem went down. There is something terrible that happens inside a woman when she is not sure if her man really wants her. As a result of this the relationship went on a downward spiral – we argued more and more often, the distance grew, the affection diminished and then the sex stopped. Wow did I feel undesirable!
The absolute worst part about that time in my life is that within a couple of months of breaking up with me he was married to someone else!
I was in so much pain that I swore I would never be in that position with a man again. I proceeded to learn everything I could about men, relationships and commitment, and I tried out what I learned in my own love life with dramatic results!
What I learned and practiced in my own love life brought me my husband, who was fully committed to me without question from the get go. I’ve since used the same approach to coach hundreds of other women in ‘less than fully… Read more…